Time is a drug.

Meeting Optimus, Tesla's new robot

Leaving my house at dawn one morning, I noticed how beautiful the light looked coming through the window.

Dear reader,

I’m so often consumed by the idea of time. I think about how relative it is. How it’s a drug. How much time matters. And how much it doesn’t. It’s elusive. Invisible. A construct entirely made up.

This week, Tesla announced their new general-purpose robotic humanoid, Optimus, or Tesla Bot. In the videos I’ve seen, I can’t help but personify him/her/they. It has a hint of humor. It’s programmed to fit into human culture, throwing up the peace and I love you sign. It has a human shape. After seeing some tasks it can complete, I caught myself thinking how helpful it might be to have a third set of hands to help with dishes, laundry, groceries, cleaning, yard work, and more.

But that’s where my thought stopped. I truly can’t imagine bringing an Elon Musk-created robot into my home. At what point in my life did things become so overwhelming that my moments suddenly needed to be allocated to artificial intelligence?

I regret to report that my time loss in 2024 is probably at an all-time high. Technology continues to be at the forefront of nearly every moment. AI has become a second brain. It’s integrated into nearly every web app. I watched several natural disasters unfold in real-time. An hour on TikTok feels like minutes. I can stream television for hours on end. I work on the computer. My life seems to be run by Google Workspace. I plan everything in Notion. Advertisements are placed anywhere I might offer just seconds of attention. It feels like I can’t keep up. October feels like March.

I often find myself counting the seconds. I consider how I’m tallying my time. I become painstakingly anxious if I have to “wait around.” I question if I am allocating my time in ways that maximize my day. I simultaneously give myself excuses to ignore certain things because “it’s ok to choose something more fulfilling.” I am deserving. After all, it’s time that is cumulating my life.

I don’t think this is the right perspective, though. I am already moving fast and society tells me I need to move faster. Yet, there was a time when moments weren’t so calculated. When doing the dishes was simply a result of a warm home-cooked meal. I think a lot of life can happen during these in-between moments if I weren’t so quick to move through them. I could stare out my kitchen window and notice the shift in the evening light, the animals that come alive, the trees at dusk.

I use technology a lot. In fact, I would say I am unwaveringly pro-technology. I wouldn’t be able to create the art I am today with programs like Adobe Photoshop. But I want to get better at using it as a tool to capture moments in my. I don’t want it to replace me in the moment. I don’t want it to be my replacement. I don’t want to rely on it for entertainment. I don’t want to feel it’s the only place I can go to get a hit of dopamine. Or, for it to be the marketplace where my attention becomes a commodity.

While I actively try to limit my obsession with the idea of time, I keep remembering to also practice mindfulness. Observation. I want to tally moments, not the ticks on a clock. I want to be encouraged to use my viewfinder, and see my moments. As this modern era unfolds I hope to hold onto bits of humanity. Celebrate human interaction and bear witness to moments — even when they are as dull as doing the dishes.

If you are interested (or just as obsessed with me) in learning more about time as a discourse, I highly recommend these books:

• Saving Time: Discovering a Life Beyond the Clock by Jenny Odell

• Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May

• Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence by Anna Lembke

• Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving by Celeste Headlee

• How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell

Talk soon,

Lauren

P.S. I just opened a brand new print shop and dropped 5 new prints! I hope you check them out <3 enter the print shop →

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• Currently reading: The Paradise Problem by Christina Lauren

• Currently watching: Sex Education

• Currently drinking: Hot chocolate (my favorite fall/winter drink!)

Listen to: Gather, the latest Viewfinder episode

If we haven’t had the pleasure of meeting—I’m Lauren Sauder, an artist, writer, and mentor. If you enjoyed this post, here are a few ways you can connect with me:

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